Lattes and stupid people. What could possibly go wrong?
“Can you top off my drink with some coffee,” he asks, holding up a large cup with about three inches of room at the top. “Sure,” the barista says. “But you know we charge for coffee, right?” Did I mention the guy hadn’t actually bought a drink at the coffee shop? Imma want free stuff! … Read more
“Don’t eat the bison brats because they’re farmed,” he told her. “They keep breeding the same animals and made a genetic bottleneck. I know it’s obscure and probably isn’t a big-scale thing, but its one of those things I’m standing against.” She looked at him as if he said, “Don’t eat the rubber shoes because … Read more
“Remember the song they used to play here all the time? The do-do-duh-do one,” Old Hair Guy says. His hair trails down below his belt—something you don’t typically see on someone who’s a veteran AARP member. Sing it with me, OK? The barista smiles and says, “I haven’t ever heard that one.” “You know the … Read more
“How was your lunch?” the hostess asked. He gave her a scrunchy disappointed face, did the hand waggle so-so motion, and said, “I guess it was OK, but we were a little disappointed. I expected the sandwich to be longer.” So apparently size does matter. I kinda wished it was bigger “You ordered the 16-inch … Read more
Pretty much the best place around for making Skype calls on your computer is the coffee shop because it’s so private and quiet. Or so I assume based on how many people do just that. And if you are going to Skype chat in the coffee shop, why not have a really loud argument, just … Read more
When I was in highschool we didn’t have smartphones, and after seeing a couple teenage girls in the coffee shop today I’m so, so glad. Selfie Girl worked her hair and her boobs to get just the right shot, and I’m betting the boy she sent it to doesn’t share my sentiment about youth with … Read more
This woman has a really bad relationship with her boyfriend, and she finally found out all these things she hadn’t been able to get him to say before by chatting with him over Facebook. How do I know, you ask? Because she said so outside the coffee shop on her speaker phone. Facebook & cell … Read more
He sits down, pops open his laptop, and throws on his headphones. He starts typing in frantic bursts that look like his thumbs are about to fly off his hands. And then he stops and looks up with a glare so intensely cold it’s as if nitrogen snow forms in the air between him and … Read more
The privacy coffee shops offer is unparalleled, or so I assume based on how many people carry on their private phone conversations so very loudly. Take Loud Mom, for example, who proclaimed to the world her phone that her sister is a bitch, her friend is a liar, and her boyfriend won’t put out. All … Read more
Business meetings happen a lot in coffee shops, and that means there’s plenty of opportunity for important work lessons to enrich your day. You know, like learning the value of the Web designer you’ve hired. That’s just what happened to Web Design Client Guy. You work for free, right? Client Guy rattles off a long … Read more