Lattes and stupid people. What could possibly go wrong?
“Can you top off my drink with some coffee,” he asks, holding up a large cup with about three inches of room at the top. “Sure,” the barista says. “But you know we charge for coffee, right?” Did I mention the guy hadn’t actually bought a drink at the coffee shop? Imma want free stuff! … Read more
“Remember the song they used to play here all the time? The do-do-duh-do one,” Old Hair Guy says. His hair trails down below his belt—something you don’t typically see on someone who’s a veteran AARP member. Sing it with me, OK? The barista smiles and says, “I haven’t ever heard that one.” “You know the … Read more
Pretty much the best place around for making Skype calls on your computer is the coffee shop because it’s so private and quiet. Or so I assume based on how many people do just that. And if you are going to Skype chat in the coffee shop, why not have a really loud argument, just … Read more
“No, you see, it’s all about understanding the nuances in language. That’s when the meaning of the words change based on how they’re used,†Mr. Mansplainer tells the woman at his table. And at another table I hear a man say, “The way the sun works, it lets off energy, and that heats us and … Read more
This guy walks into the coffee shop and at first I think he’s dropping a couple glasses into the dirty dishes bin near the door, but then I realize he’s actually taking them out. Then he hops in line ready to order his drinks. I guess this guy wanted that refill discount really bad. I’ll … Read more
Once upon a time, there was this amazingly considerate guy who went out of his way to make sure he didn’t take a whole table for himself when the coffee shop was so busy no one had a place to sit. Just kidding. He totally took a four-seat table all for himself, and didn’t even … Read more
Need a caffeine boost to get you through the day? A little pick me up to push through the afternoon? Just head on over to the coffee shop, and don’t forget to bring your Red Bull. Wait, what? Three Red Bulls? Check. Full body shakes? Check. Red Bull Guy moseyed up to the coffee shop … Read more
“No, I didn’t bring any books. I have an iPhone.†That’s how the Light Speed Lover started his college biology tutor session. “I think you should consider joining me on a date event,†he said. His tutor was so very nonplussed. Ima wanna date, mmmkay? “Look,†his tutor said. “You really need to have your … Read more
It’s a fairly common scene: You take your laptop to the coffee shop to get out of the office and work, you start downloading your email and open a couple Web pages, and suddenly the Internet slows to a crawl. Like glacial molasses passing legislation slow. And then you notice the two guys with their … Read more
You know what totally rocks? When people who clearly have no clue tell baristas how to do their job. And by “rocks,” I mean, “Hey, you! Out of the gene pool!” I don’t know what the drink is, but you’re doing it wrong. Drink Master Lady starts with the usual litany of “What’s a carmel macchiato,” … Read more