Social Skills

The Big Dog Book Review

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“I have to tell you about this amazing book,” she says. “The woman dies, and it’s so tragic. The story is from the dog’s point of view.” I can’t hardly wait to dive into that book. It’s a story… from a dog! You’ll love it! “Oh, man,” he says, burying his face in his hands. … Read more

Country Disco Girl

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In my world, when people listen to music in public they use headphones so no one else has to hear whatever it is that helps them get their groove on. My world is clearly a fantasy place where I don’t have to hear what sounds like country disco, and I won’t get in trouble for … Read more

Light Speed Lover

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“No, I didn’t bring any books. I have an iPhone.” That’s how the Light Speed Lover started his college biology tutor session. “I think you should consider joining me on a date event,” he said. His tutor was so very nonplussed. Ima wanna date, mmmkay? “Look,” his tutor said. “You really need to have your … Read more

Pour Me Another, Pal

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Guy props is skateboard against the table and says, “Oh God, I drank so much. And you were so messed up, too!” How can I not listen in on a conversation that starts like that? Ima impress you wit my drinkin’, mmmkay? Skateboard Guy smacks the table hard to emphasize just how much he drank, … Read more

The Black Karma Team

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And lo, a darkness rolled over the land snuffing out all in its path, raining despair and grief in its hateful swath of destruction. No, wait. It just these two guys sitting in the coffee shop who Won’t. Stop. Bitching. It’s bitch-a-palooza day! I don’t know who pissed them off, but they did a great … Read more

The Mobile iMac. Or not.

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I’m all for taking your computer to the coffee shop. In fact, I do it all the time. But your iMac? Holy Grabthar’s Hammer, dude. You brought your iMac to the coffee shop? Pick it up with two hands. It’s portable, right? There’s an unspoken code in the coffee shop: Bring your computer, but only if … Read more

Blatant Man: Photo Snappin’ Fool

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I never work hard to hide the fact that I’m snapping photos of people in coffee shops and most people are so unaware of their surroundings that they never even notice. Blatant Man, however, has a few things he can teach me about sneaking photos of women. No, wait. That’s creepy. He has a few … Read more

Cell Phone Dude

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He shuffles in with that I’m-so-cool-and-dejected look, drops into a chair, lets out a loud sigh and asks, “Did that phone ring?” He points to the candy bar cell phone on the floor, then asks again, “Did that phone ring.” And in that moment I realize that there’s a higher power sending these people to … Read more