Angry Laptop Boy

He sits down, pops open his laptop, and throws on his headphones. He starts typing in frantic bursts that look like his thumbs are about to fly off his hands. And then he stops and looks up with a glare so intensely cold it’s as if nitrogen snow forms in the air between him and … Read more

The Paperless Office Fail

Remember the promise of the paperless office? That never happened, and for some people the paper thing is so important that they’ll bring a printer with them to the coffee shop. So I guess what the future really gave us was the office-less office. Imma coffee shop printin’ fool Mobile Printer Guy had his laptop, … Read more

Attack of the Mansplainers

“No, you see, it’s all about understanding the nuances in language. That’s when the meaning of the words change based on how they’re used,” Mr. Mansplainer tells the woman at his table. And at another table I hear a man say, “The way the sun works, it lets off energy, and that heats us and … Read more

My New Fashion Advisor

The old man walks in, unassuming and quiet. He shuffles up to the counter and orders a small coffee, black. The barista hands him his drink, he pays and with an almost imperceptible smile says “thanks.” And then I notice his shoes. His glorious bowling shoes. It’s OK to own your look These aren’t your … Read more

Loud Mom’s Dry Spell

The privacy coffee shops offer is unparalleled, or so I assume based on how many people carry on their private phone conversations so very loudly. Take Loud Mom, for example, who proclaimed to the world her phone that her sister is a bitch, her friend is a liar, and her boyfriend won’t put out. All … Read more

Show Me the Money

Business meetings happen a lot in coffee shops, and that means there’s plenty of opportunity for important work lessons to enrich your day. You know, like learning the value of the Web designer you’ve hired. That’s just what happened to Web Design Client Guy. You work for free, right? Client Guy rattles off a long … Read more

Tale of the Table Hoarder

Once upon a time, there was this amazingly considerate guy who went out of his way to make sure he didn’t take a whole table for himself when the coffee shop was so busy no one had a place to sit. Just kidding. He totally took a four-seat table all for himself, and didn’t even … Read more

The Big Dog Book Review

“I have to tell you about this amazing book,” she says. “The woman dies, and it’s so tragic. The story is from the dog’s point of view.” I can’t hardly wait to dive into that book. It’s a story… from a dog! You’ll love it! “Oh, man,” he says, burying his face in his hands. … Read more

Turbo Drink Overload: Go!

Need a caffeine boost to get you through the day? A little pick me up to push through the afternoon? Just head on over to the coffee shop, and don’t forget to bring your Red Bull. Wait, what? Three Red Bulls? Check. Full body shakes? Check. Red Bull Guy moseyed up to the coffee shop … Read more