The Case of the Countertop Dog

Once upon a time, there was a man. A special man with a magical dog that… Oh, never mind. This is all about a guy that put his dog’s ass on the coffee shop counter. Really.

Countertop dogIma jus’ put my dog here, okay?

There’s something special about seeing a guy set his dog on the coffee shop counter because, really, who doesn’t want to think “Gee, I think my drink needs a little more dog ass.”

Health code, schmealth code, people. It’s all about what’s convenient, and what could possibly be more convenient than bringing your hairy little dog into a restaurant and dropping it down on the same counter where your food comes from? It’s kind of like dusting the counter, and that’s a service.

Countertop Dog Man is friendly, too. “Is that one of them ay-pad things there? With the Netflick?” he asks. “I got me one of those. I make lots of money.”

“That’s great,” I want to say. “Squirrel!”

But I don’t. Something about a fear of getting shanked.

Still, I have to be impressed. Countertop Dog Man managed to do something no one else has: He earned a second entry on Fresh Brewed Tales. Remember Cyst Man?

FBT Double Dip Douche Award

One and the same.

I see a pattern here, and it circles around butts.

So I award you, Mr. Cyst Man Countertop Dog Man, with the first ever FBT Double Dip Douche Award. Congratulations, and you get on with your bad ass self.

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