“No, you see, it’s all about understanding the nuances in language. That’s when the meaning of the words change based on how they’re used,” Mr. Mansplainer tells the woman at his table. And at another table I hear a man say, “The way the sun works, it lets off energy, and that heats us and makes light.” Dear god. I’m surrounded by mansplainers.
Let me ‘splain something to you.
The privacy coffee shops offer is unparalleled, or so I assume based on how many people carry on their private phone conversations so very loudly. Take Loud Mom, for example, who proclaimed to
the world her phone that her sister is a bitch, her friend is a liar, and her boyfriend won’t put out. All while her little boy is sitting next to her.
Where can a girl get some action around here?
This guy walks into the coffee shop and at first I think he’s dropping a couple glasses into the dirty dishes bin near the door, but then I realize he’s actually taking them out. Then he hops in line ready to order his drinks. I guess this guy wanted that refill discount really bad.
I’ll take two sloppy lattes to go
Once upon a time, there was this amazingly considerate guy who went out of his way to make sure he didn’t take a whole table for himself when the coffee shop was so busy no one had a place to sit. Just kidding. He totally took a four-seat table all for himself, and didn’t even buy a drink.
Ima keep this table all for me
“I’ve got some great ideas for your website,” he said. “What you need is something like this site that UberSite Design made.” It’s always great to have examples to show your prospective clients. Don’t worry. This is about to go horribly wrong.
Dude. Lemme sell you Web sites way better than mine.