The Paperless Office Fail

Remember the promise of the paperless office? That never happened, and for some people the paper thing is so important that they’ll bring a printer with them to the coffee shop. So I guess what the future really gave us was the office-less office.

Paperless officeImma coffee shop printin’ fool


Attack of the Mansplainers

“No, you see, it’s all about understanding the nuances in language. That’s when the meaning of the words change based on how they’re used,” Mr. Mansplainer tells the woman at his table. And at another table I hear a man say, “The way the sun works, it lets off energy, and that heats us and makes light.” Dear god. I’m surrounded by mansplainers.

MansplainerLet me ‘splain something to you.


My New Fashion Advisor

The old man walks in, unassuming and quiet. He shuffles up to the counter and orders a small coffee, black. The barista hands him his drink, he pays and with an almost imperceptible smile says “thanks.” And then I notice his shoes. His glorious bowling shoes.

Fashion advisorIt’s OK to own your look


Loud Mom’s Dry Spell

The privacy coffee shops offer is unparalleled, or so I assume based on how many people carry on their private phone conversations so very loudly. Take Loud Mom, for example, who proclaimed to the world her phone that her sister is a bitch, her friend is a liar, and her boyfriend won’t put out. All while her little boy is sitting next to her.

Loud momWhere can a girl get some action around here?


Drink Free Loader, er, Reloader

This guy walks into the coffee shop and at first I think he’s dropping a couple glasses into the dirty dishes bin near the door, but then I realize he’s actually taking them out. Then he hops in line ready to order his drinks. I guess this guy wanted that refill discount really bad.

Drink reloaderI’ll take two sloppy lattes to go


Show Me the Money

Business meetings happen a lot in coffee shops, and that means there’s plenty of opportunity for important work lessons to enrich your day. You know, like learning the value of the Web designer you’ve hired. That’s just what happened to Web Design Client Guy.

Web client guyYou work for free, right?


Tale of the Table Hoarder

Once upon a time, there was this amazingly considerate guy who went out of his way to make sure he didn’t take a whole table for himself when the coffee shop was so busy no one had a place to sit. Just kidding. He totally took a four-seat table all for himself, and didn’t even buy a drink.

Lonely table manIma keep this table all for me


The Big Dog Book Review

“I have to tell you about this amazing book,” she says. “The woman dies, and it’s so tragic. The story is from the dog’s point of view.” I can’t hardly wait to dive into that book.

Book reviewIt’s a story… from a dog! You’ll love it!


Turbo Drink Overload: Go!

Need a caffeine boost to get you through the day? A little pick me up to push through the afternoon? Just head on over to the coffee shop, and don’t forget to bring your Red Bull. Wait, what?

Redbull guyThree Red Bulls? Check. Full body shakes? Check.


Website Super Seller

“I’ve got some great ideas for your website,” he said. “What you need is something like this site that UberSite Design made.” It’s always great to have examples to show your prospective clients. Don’t worry. This is about to go horribly wrong.

Website super seller2Dude. Lemme sell you Web sites way better than mine.