Fresh Brewed Tales

You know what I think when I’m really tired and need a nap? Let’s go to the coffee shop! I mean, really, what could be more relaxing than taking a nap in a crazy-loud coffee shop? With a computer on your lap.

Let’s snuggle. Or snore. Whatevs.

(more…)

“I’ll have a double latté and hey, what kinda phone you got,” Cell Phone Sales Guy asks the barista. “I hope it’s not wanna them iPhones. They don’t got the 4G.” People, my coffee shop is totally a target-rich environment.

My signal strength is going up.

(more…)

Once upon a time, there was a man. A special man with a magical dog that… Oh, never mind. This is all about a guy that put his dog’s ass on the coffee shop counter. Really.

Ima jus’ put my dog here, okay?

(more…)

So I order my drink just as I always do, and I break out my iPhone because I pay with my trusty Starbucks app. It’s like fake money. And there she is. Behind me. The woman that abhors my technology and is more than happy to let me know.

iPhone = bad, plastic = good

(more…)

I’m not a parent, but that doesn’t stop me from watching how other Grups handle the delicate process of raising their young. My local coffee shop is a great place to learn, and based on what I’m seeing, the best way to make sure your child grows up to be a productive member of society is by… well… ignoring them. Who knew?

Parenting: It’s easier than you think

(more…)

You know how when you get up in the morning you change out of your jammies before going out to face the world? No? Maybe it’s just me.

I SO don’t want to see your Gargamel

(more…)

“Well, we had sex, but I didn’t reveal myself to her physical lover,” he says. No, really. That’s what he said. I swear to God, people, it’s like this guy is begging me to write about him.

Let’s get physical

(more…)

The word of technology is filled with magic and mystery. It’s a place of wonder and excitement with so many special places to discover, and — Oh! What’s that? Yeah, it seems all you need to keep some people entertained is a laptop, a coffee, and a mediocre Internet connection.

OMG! How do they get in to that position?

(more…)

Real men don’t mess around with girly tablets like the iPad. Apparently they don’t wear sleeves, either. Yeah, I’m bad, and I know it

(more…)

You know what baristas totally love? Hearing about your polyps, lumps and cysts. Especially the cysts. And the Cyst Man? Yeah, he can really project.

Guess where it hurts. No, really.

(more…)