Mastering Math, One Kid at a Time

“Am I supposed to factor for X,” the kid asks. His math tutor replies, “Um… I don’t know.” I really hope this kid’s parents are getting a discount rate.

Math tutorMath is hard, kid.

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Shameless Self Promotion: FBT at Ignite Denver

You know how we’ve shared all these experiences at coffee shops together, but it feels like we’re in a long distance relationship because all you get to do is read? I mean, we aren’t even in the same room. We should get together and do this face to face. How about February 20 at Ignite Denver 16?

Jeff igniteThis time, I’ma gonna talk

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Country Disco Girl

In my world, when people listen to music in public they use headphones so no one else has to hear whatever it is that helps them get their groove on. My world is clearly a fantasy place where I don’t have to hear what sounds like country disco, and I won’t get in trouble for not wearing pants.

Country disco girlStep 1: Don’t plug in headphones. Step 2: Play music.

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Light Speed Lover

“No, I didn’t bring any books. I have an iPhone.” That’s how the Light Speed Lover started his college biology tutor session. “I think you should consider joining me on a date event,” he said. His tutor was so very nonplussed.

Light speed loverIma wanna date, mmmkay?

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Can’t Touch This, or Motor Skills Gone Wrong

“…and then he pulled the cord and the motor ripped his fingers right off. Ha ha.” So yeah, How could I not listen in on that?

Morbid manSometimes dexterity is really important

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Mega Smartwatch Man & His Sexy Mega Smartwatch

Living by the Prime Directive means I can’t interfere with the indigenous life forms in their native habitat. That also means I sometimes have to quietly chase the natives to catalog their activities, or to get a pic of the giant-ass smartphone they’re wearing on their wrist… on purpose.

Mega smartwatch man‘scuze me while I whip this out

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Full Contact Parking

I’ll set the stage for you: SUV Woman needs her coffee. Bad. Like, really bad. SUV Woman parks in the business loading zone in front of the coffee shop and throws her car door open. Passing car hits her door, slamming it against the front fender, and keeps driving. As one does.

Full contact parkingI’ll just park right… ffffuuuuuu…

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Pour Me Another, Pal

Guy props is skateboard against the table and says, “Oh God, I drank so much. And you were so messed up, too!” How can I not listen in on a conversation that starts like that?

Skateboard guyIma impress you wit my drinkin’, mmmkay?

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Go Team Pr0nster

It’s a fairly common scene: You take your laptop to the coffee shop to get out of the office and work, you start downloading your email and open a couple Web pages, and suddenly the Internet slows to a crawl. Like glacial molasses passing legislation slow. And then you notice the two guys with their backs to the wall staring intently at their laptop screens. You know where this is going.

Team pr0nsterDigital girlz is teh pretty

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Crash & Burn: Dating Fail Day

He shows up at the coffee shop first, pensively waiting, then smiles when she walks in and hugs him. “Hey,” he says, “I’d love to take you out on a date.” Friends, this does not end well.

Shunned guyNothing like a public crash and burn, kids.

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