Loud Mom’s Dry Spell

The privacy coffee shops offer is unparalleled, or so I assume based on how many people carry on their private phone conversations so very loudly. Take Loud Mom, for example, who proclaimed to the world her phone that her sister is a bitch, her friend is a liar, and her boyfriend won’t put out. All while her little boy is sitting next to her.

Loud momWhere can a girl get some action around here?

“God, I know,” Loud Mom said. “My sister is such a bitch! A real bitch!” Considering Loud Mom most likely grew up with her sister, I have to assume she’s in a position to know.

She continues on explaining in detail how her friend is a liar and she can’t believe she always does that and how does she think she can get away with that and I don’t even know why I bother hanging out with her.

As if that isn’t enough to just ruin her life, her boy friend won’t even put out. It’s been, like, weeks. Weeks! And she is ready to explode — something I assume to be very unsanitary in the confines of a coffee shop. Surprisingly, no one steps forward to take one for the team and end her dry spell. Color me surprised.

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