Proud Parenting 101

I’m not a parent, but that doesn’t stop me from watching how other Grups handle the delicate process of raising their young. My local coffee shop is a great place to learn, and based on what I’m seeing, the best way to make sure your child grows up to be a productive member of society … Read more

Jammie Man

You know how when you get up in the morning you change out of your jammies before going out to face the world? No? Maybe it’s just me. I SO don’t want to see your Gargamel Jammie Man didn’t get the memo either, so he graced the coffee shop in his pajama pants. His Smurf … Read more

Mr. Horizontal Mambo

“Well, we had sex, but I didn’t reveal myself to her physical lover,” he says. No, really. That’s what he said. I swear to God, people, it’s like this guy is begging me to write about him. Let’s get physical   Seems Mr. Horizontal Mambo knows what he wants, and doesn’t have any problem talking … Read more

OMG Guy

The word of technology is filled with magic and mystery. It’s a place of wonder and excitement with so many special places to discover, and — Oh! What’s that? Yeah, it seems all you need to keep some people entertained is a laptop, a coffee, and a mediocre Internet connection. OMG! How do they get … Read more

Butch Tablet Man

Real men don’t mess around with girly tablets like the iPad. Apparently they don’t wear sleeves, either. Yeah, I’m bad, and I know it   Butch Tablet Man comes to the coffee shop in a sleeveless shirt in the winter, just like a real man. He wears fingerless driving gloves, too, because man that Ford … Read more

Squeeze Me, Baby

You know what baristas totally love? Hearing about your polyps, lumps and cysts. Especially the cysts. And the Cyst Man? Yeah, he can really project. Guess where it hurts. No, really. “It was big,” he said. “And they wanted me to pay $175 to drain it. Can you believe that? 175 dollars!” “Uh huh,” the … Read more

High Finance and Frappachinos

The fast moving world of high finance waits for no one, so you make the deals when they happen. Or in this case, you talk really loud on your phone so everyone in the coffee shop knows you can’t count to three or balance your checkbook. Whatever. I wanna frap an’a new credit card “Yeah, … Read more

Livin’ the Memory, Mom

“Yo, yo, Ima gonna sit here soz youz can gets me some food,” he says. “OK, honey,” his mom says. Wait, what? His mom? Ima let you finish… buyin’ me food, mom! I’m all about people expressing themselves, and if your wardrobe helps you do that, good for you. But when your wardrobe becomes a … Read more

The Melancholy Tale of Emo Boy

What’s worse than pulling a full-on emo attitude? How about pulling a full-on emo attitude in public without anyone to appreciate it. Starbursts soothe the emo heart Poor emo boy had the clothes, the hair, the cigarette behind the ear, and the tablet-kind-of-device-that’s-too-small-to-use-but-too-big-for-your-pocket. You know the one. It creaks when you hold it, and there’s … Read more

I’ll Take One Job, to Go

A guy walks into a Starbucks for a job interview. No, this isn’t a setup for a joke. Ok, maybe it kind of is. Interview time! What could possibly go wrong? Job hunting guy is wearing his best khaki slacks and a well pressed shirt. Hiring guy seems really interested in what he has to say. … Read more